How is it that a man who spent his whole life and career making the world laugh was fighting so many dark demons within himself? How is it that this man could put on a smile for the world every day but was slowly dying inside?
I have never met Robin Williams, but I grew up with him. I've laughed with him, cried with him, loved him, hated him and sympathized with him throughout his movies. I have loved every single movie I've seen that he was in, even those that weren't considered 'huge' hits. He put everything he had into what he did and truly became every character he played. So much so that after watching some movies, it was hard to put into perspective that it was just acting and he wasn't actually that character in real life.
It infuriates me to hear those that talk about suicide being "selfish" or the "cowardly way out". You have no idea what that person has gone through or is going through. Do I think the guy that committed suicide in jail while he was awaiting trial for raping and killing a little girl was cowardly? Yes, you bet I do. But what about a child that kills themselves for being bullied? What about someone that is so distraught after losing a loved one and would rather take their life than be without that person? Who are we to judge how someone feels and how they deal with those feelings?! There is only one person that has the right to judge and it is none of us here on Earth! I have known a couple of people that have taken their own life and I know friends who have had family members take their own lives. They have ranged from 17 years old to in their 60's-70's and all for different reasons, some of which are still unknown. Depression and suicide do not target certain people for any specific reason. It affects young or old, rich or poor, black or white, doctors, lawyers, homeless and yes, even comedians.
I do not know why his death has weighed on me so much these last couple of days, but I find myself thinking about it a lot and tearing up. I think it's just hard to comprehend and wrap my mind around the fact that he was fighting such a deep depression and could take his own life. To not be able to overcome that kind of helplessness and not be able to find the light is just heart wrenching. I just imagine someone so broken and feeling so alone. I would not wish that battle on my worst enemy.
The news said it best the other night when they said it was like the world just lost their favorite, funny uncle. In reality, the world lost their favorite nanny, a genie, Peter Pan, Mork, a therapist, a doctor, a professor and an awesome comedian. But most of all, a family lost a husband, father and friend. I hope you are keeping them all entertained up there Mr. Williams. I look forward to the laughter when I get there...
O Captain! My Captain! our fearful trip is done;
The ship has weather'd every rack, the prize we sought is won; The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting, While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring:
The ship has weather'd every rack, the prize we sought is won; The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting, While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring:
- But O heart! heart! heart!
- O the bleeding drops of red,
- Where on the deck my Captain lies,
- Fallen cold and dead.
O Captain! My Captain! rise up and hear the bells; Rise up—for you the flag is flung—for you the bugle trills; For you bouquets and ribbon'd wreaths—for you the shores a-crowding; For you they call, the swaying mass, their eager faces turning;
- Here captain! dear father!
- This arm beneath your head;
- It is some dream that on the deck,
- You've fallen cold and dead.
My Captain does not answer, his lips are pale and still; My father does not feel my arm, he has no pulse nor will; The ship is anchor'd safe and sound, its voyage closed and done; From fearful trip, the victor ship, comes in with object won;
- Exult, O shores, and ring, O bells!
- But I, with mournful tread,
- Walk the deck my captain lies,
- Fallen cold and dead.
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