Sunday, March 24, 2013

Sabbatical...Part 2

Ok, so I had to stop short on the last post. Partly because I needed to go pick my husband up from work and because I was getting upset typing, but we are good...for now anyway.

Where were we? Oh yeah, on our way to NY - We hit another 2 hours of extra traffic which was not helping my mood at all. So, we finally get to NY around 10 p.m. after 14 hours of driving. I was ready to see my dad, but at the same time I wasn't ready to see him because I knew I would lose it again. When we got there, one of his good friends was there and they had both obviously been trying to forget the day...they were in rare form. His friend finally left and then we started unpacking the car, no one really talking about the giant elephant in the room yet. I went in the kitchen to put some stuff up and dad followed me in there. Neither of us had to say anything, but we hugged each other and then the flood works started. I've only seen my dad cry twice, once the day I moved to GA to live with my mom and the other was the day of my graduation. He usually isn't an emotional person either, he keeps everything in and you never know what he is thinking. So I was not only crying because of the loss of Grandpa, but I was crying because dad was crying. After we quit all the blubbering and reminincing of grandpa, we went to bed. I was just exhausted, both physically and mentally.

The next morning (Thanksgiving Day) my brother Ladd, my cousins and Aunt made it up and all came to dad's house. We all wanted to go to grandma's but none of us were sure she wanted company just yet. She called us about 10 and wanted everyone over there. She was doing better than I had picture in my head, but she was still just devasted and my heart absolutely broke for her. I have to back up a little, I forgot part of the story...we were going up at Thanksgiving because our family throws a dinner for all of our family and friends, which is for about 50-60 people and we have it the Saturday after so everyone can make it. Given the situation, they decided it would be best to cancel it. It's hard enough having to go through the loss of someone, but then having to call people to cancel dinner and having to explain why and talk about it constantly is like adding fuel to the fire. Major accolades to my aunts for dealing with that! So, we visited with my grandmother throughout the afternoon and then did some running around.

Friday all of the cousins went bowling so they would have something to do and to occupy their minds while the rest of the family planned a memorial service, made arrangements with the funeral director and visited with the pastor of their church. I wasn't in the mood for bowling, so I went to my grandmothers to help with the planning and see what I could do. My grandfather was cremated, so there wasn't a funeral. My uncle had a great idea that of course makes me cry thinking about it now. Grandpa was a racecar driver, so my uncle had brought up a checkered flag from a race he won at Dixie a few years ago. He had grandma and his brother and sisters sign it and they had it cremated with grandpa...I know he loved that. We then brought out boxes and boxes of pictures and picked out ones of him to create a slideshow with. I always thought grandpa was a handsome man, and he was quite the looker growing up too! So we sat for hours going through memories and I loved it. We found pictures of great-grandparents, my dad and his siblings growing up, grandma and grandpa when they were younger...just boxes full of memories.

Saturday dad and I figured that since everything had already been bought for Thanksgiving dinner, that we would go ahead and cook for just our family. Grandpa would have wanted us to still have a get together and Lord knows we can not let food go to waste either! So we spent most of the day cooking, took it all to grandma's and chowed down. My uncle, who is in the Army, showed up and grandma went to boo-hooing all over again, it was very sweet. My brother and cousin ended up having to leave Saturday night to drive back down to GA because they had to be at work on Monday, so everyone said their goodbyes to them. Then we all just wanted to go to bed, although no one was looking forward to the next day.

Sunday we had grandpa's memorial service at 4 p.m at their church. Grandpa's latest passion since retiring was fixing up old cars, especially his Lil' Red Express Truck. He spent about 2 years from the frame up replacing and fixing every little detail on it. He re-did the wood himself and it turned out amazing. When it came time for us to leave for the service, dad drove grandma to the church in the Lil' Red and when it was over, they drove his ashes back home in the truck with them. It seemed like a very fitting end to everything and I know he would have been proud about that. The memorial service was great, it was a packed house and I don't think there was a dry eye in the place. Grandpa grew up in the area and lived there just about his whole life. Between growing up there, owning his mechanic shop and being Highway Superintendent for years, he knew anyone and everyone...and it showed that night! I had written something to be read (I will post it at a later time). There was no way I was ever going to be able to get up there and read it while maintaining my composure, so I had the pastor read it for me. I wish I considered writing it before I did because there was so much more I wanted to say, but it was a last minute decision. The rest of what I wanted to say has now been said in conversations I have with him here and there when I get to missing him a lot...almost on a daily basis. I have his memorial cards on my dash with my little bible, so he rides everywhere with me. I catch myself looking at him and apologizing a lot for language I use in traffic haha.


Jeff flew back to Atlanta on Tues the 27th and the rest of my sabbatical was mostly spent going to my grandma's house, doing puzzles with her, running into town for some shopping, or just sitting in the back room talking and watching all of the animals that came through the yard. She does have a couple pesky animals that like to eat her bird seed, run the birds off and irritate her...I won't say which kind of animals, but lets just say she is still a crack-shot with the gun and didn't get the nickname "Annie Oakley" for nothing!


I did finally get the chance to re-paint my bedroom at my dads house. Growing up, my favorite color was pink and the color pink that was picked was blinding! It was like Pepto Bismol pink...cute at age 7, not so much at 29! So I took about a week, painted and cleaned the bedroom that way other guests could have a room to stay in too. I even got a new mattress for the day bed and new bedspreads for both...if I had time and money, I would have got rid of the pink carpet too!


Jeff flew back up in time to spend Christmas with all of us. Dad and I cooked and had over Grandma, her sister and nephew and a couple of dads friends stopped by later. After they left we opened gifts. I got threatened to have my butt kicked by my dad because no one can ever get him anything and he never gives just get a simple "thank you"...he got over it though! He and his siblings went in a got grandma a new stove (hers caught fire a few years back lol), so now maybe we can get her to bake some of her delicious desserts for us! A couple days later it was time to drive back down to Atlanta and it took a lot for me to convince myself not to stay a couple more days! I didn't want to leave grandma and dad because I know they liked having company, and I certainly wasn't looking forward to returning to work. Don't get me wrong, I love my job and everyone I work with, but if I could have convinced them to let me work from up there, I wouldn't have hesitated to! So Jeff and I drove about halfway, got a hotel and then arrived back home on the 29th in time to celebrate New Year's with family down here. And that, in a nutshell, was my sabbatical. I really hate that I didn't get to spend time with grandpa as I had planned, but I am so thankful I was able to be there for my dad and grandmother during that time. As I told everyone else, it sounds wrong to say it was perfect timing, but the timing couldn't have been any better.

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